“It was August 4, 1880. In April of that year I had come to the Institute. On the morning of that day in August, I had to tend to business in the city. Observing this, one of the Sisters said to me, ‘You may ride part of the way, as some of the ladies of the house are going to Himmelspforten.’ Hardly had I heard the word  ‘Himmelspforten’ when light and understanding pervaded my whole being. Everything became clear to me and something in me spoke aloud, ‘Go and ask to be received there; that is where God wishes to have you!’      

I rode to the convent of the Carmelite nuns and asked to speak to the confessor. To this religious, I presented my desire in a simple request; he took me to the prioress and I was given the assurance that as soon as one of the Carmelite nuns would depart in death, I would be allowed to enter. 

 

Good St. Joseph evidently helped me to my desired goal. It was as if everything had been prepared in advance at the Carmelite convent, and yet I was a stranger to this Order and all its circumstances up to this day. I was happy because all was made clear concerning what God was asking of me. I saw myself near the goal for which I had been longing for years. 
When doubts were approaching me, whether or not all this was willed by God--for in those days of greatest distress I had no priest near me who would have guided me in spiritual life--I realized after much fervent prayer that I should take refuge in a Franciscan Father, whose piety had urged him in later life to leave his parish and serve God as a simple religious. This priest told me decisively, after I had given him the necessary information regarding my situation, that I was obliged to be faithful in holding fast to everything as coming from God. 

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He also advised me to speak openly with the general superior when she would come to the city to make new appointments at the orphanage, a thing I could more easily do as my reason for leaving the Franciscan Order was clearly the will of God and not occasioned by human, petty motives.

 

On February 23, 1881, I spoke to the general superior about my concern; she accepted my disclosure, even though painful to her, yet with noble and pious sentiments, fused with motherly benevolence. No blame, no bitterness, no ill humor or uncharitable comment came my way. She regretted that she had caused me pain in the recent past because she had been greatly misinformed.
If I had not had the full certainty of "God calls." I would have yielded to the entreaties of this venerable woman not to leave, because of the loving kindness with which she treated me. This time also, I experienced that the heights of Carmel are hard to attain!

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As long as I live, I shall honor this noble woman my spiritual mother and will ask God in prayer and sacrifice to enrich her with the fullest measure of His grace. In the foregoing, I think I have presented everything according to the truth. I did not wish to accuse anyone. It was God who directed all to make happen as it did. Neither did I
wish to appear in a better light or justify myself. I give glory to God alone, if after many things deserving punishment, I now and then do some good. Also, which good, however, on close scrutiny would not even be found perfect in every sense.
 

The Reverend Mother Superior of the convent of Maria Stern wanted me to address a sincere word to you, Your Excellency. I have done so in this letter with sentiments of respect and confidence. I repeat my most humble request: that Your Excellency may graciously deign to grant me permission to leave the Convent of Maria Stern as soon as God calls to Himself a Carmelite Sister and when I shall have obtained acceptance by election in the Order of Carmel.

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Awaiting your reply with profound reverence,

I am Your Excellency's respectfully obedient

M. Angela Streitel, O. S. F.

 
Würzburg, September 1881

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Excerpt from a

Letter to Bishop Pankratius von Dinkel,

Bishop of Augsburg (September 1881)