“A year and a half ago I came to the above mentioned Institute. There I found disorder of all kinds: the domestic and even monastic financial, domestic and even religious conditions were in complete disorder. Good Saint Joseph, for some years my guide and father, had to obtain for me many graces from his divine foster son at that time, for in the Motherhouse I was regarded with little favor.

 

The above mentioned lady consequently had asked directly to the Stern convent that I take charge of the Marian Institute, of which she was the directress, for she was confident that with God's help I would raise it up from its deteriorated condition. Yes, in all candor I say to Your Excellency, I say with all frankness that I invited her to do so because I was convinced they would never rest until I worked there and because it was the will of God. But when I heard that another superior would enter the Institute in a few days, I asked that lady to give up the thought that I should nevertheless be requested in Augsburg.

 

The next day early in the morning I went up Mount St. Nicholas to the miraculous image of the Sorrowful Mother and I gave thanks there fervently that I had not had to go to the Marian Institute. On returning home I said repeatedly to the Sister who accompanied me and who was always my companion in times of
sufferings: ‘I am very happy!’ However, I did not foresee that even that same day the board of directors had decided that a lady should leave for Augsburg that very same evening and ask for me to go to the Institute. So it was, indeed, that I came to the Institute, but what a flood of pain and suffering, of harshness and humiliation followed me. No thought was given to my defense. I was condemned without being heard. Of merciful charity there was no thought. God wished to prepare me for a cause! If the help of grace had not been so plentiful at that time, mind and body would have suffered ruin. The salvific power of the wounds of the Lord saved me. I had to, and with the grace of God I was able to, meet others in a cordial manner, and all this, in a house with a hundred persons of every type, with a heart steeped in sorrow.

Most Reverend Bishop, I experienced then what is meant by ‘standing beneath the cross with a bleeding heart.’ Since that time I am mightily drawn to love of the Cross. My whole endeavor was bent on banishing from my heart every trace of bitterness that sought to lodge there, on praying very zealously and drawing closer than ever to the Tabernacle. My work was visibly blessed by God and thanks to divine help, after a few months order was restored everywhere.”

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Excerpt from a

Letter to Bishop Pankratius von Dinkel,

Bishop of Augsburg (September 1881)